Riddle Me This, Jishman

If rumors circulating over the past few days are true, there is going to be a major reorganization of Division I (FBS, Football Bowl Series, formally I-A) football over the next few weeks or months. This all began when the Big Ten announced earlier in the year that they were considering expansion. Since the, almost every other conference has been rumored to be adding or losing teams in the creation of several “super conferences.” If today’s news stories are true, here is my best (and uneducated) guess about what the conference landscape will look like in a few years.

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This is hilarious

Sorkin says that his next show will once again (like Studio 60 and Sports Night) be set in the world of television, a behind-the-scenes look at…something.

My love of Sorkin’s TV shows and movies knows no bounds, as my loyal readers know, and while I wasn’t as big a fan of Studio 60 as I was of Sports Night and West Wing, but if he gets back into the politics and opinion pieces he is so famous for, the show would be great.

I’m as giddy as a schoolgirl.

Dear Mr. Goodell,

I wanted to write to you and thank you for one of the DUMBEST IDEA EVER FLOATED for the NFL:

Commissioner Roger Goodell notified teams Thursday that the draft will be spread over three days in 2010, running Thursday, April 22, through Saturday, April 24.

In addition, the first round will start in prime time at 7:30 p.m. ET.

“We continue to look for ways to make the draft more accessible to more fans,” Goodell said in a statement. “Moving the first round to prime time on Thursday night will make the first round of the draft available to fans on what is typically the most-watched night of television.”

ESPN and the NFL Network will televise the entire show.

The second and third rounds will start at 6:30 p.m. ET on April 23.

Rounds 4 through 7 will be on April 24, starting at 10 a.m. ET.

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1.) Damn, Denver. You couldn’t beat LA. I hate the Lakers. Go Magic!

2.) I spent two hours last night hunting for parking. Grrr. This is why I don’t want a car in the city.

3.) Octomom. Lands. Deal. Dear World, I hate you. Seriously, what possible reason is there for this!? Her story is easy. She desperately needed attention. She is going to get it. For fifteen minutes. Then, we’re going to hate her too. And the kids? Yeah, they’re going to be more screwed up than Britney Spears.

4.) Reality TV - Wipeout? America’s Got Talent? I am just as sick of it as I was before. Possibly moreso. People ask why I watch more shows on DVD, Food Network or online. Well ask no longer. It’s because I hate the major networks. They spoon feed us the most mind numbing garbage. Scripted TV is lacking and the networks are attempting to give it to the lowest common denominator. I’m sorry. I just don’t care anymore. NBC? Your shows are crap. ABC? Could you find something I care less about? (Answer: Only if it was on NBC). Fox? I stopped watching House, so that should tell you how much I don’t care about your shows. CBS? What, are we on CSI: Holmdel now?!

I hate the world.

Last week, I was wrong. My record is now 15 for 23.

Round 1: Personal Pick

Adam Lambert — Mad World….

Kris Allen — Ain’t No Sunshine…

Round 1 goes to Kris.

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Last week, I was wrong. In reality, America is tone deaf because Kris sucked last week and Allison is and always will be better than Kris. My record is now 15 for 22.

This week, Judges choice and contestants choice:

Round 1: Judges choice

Danny Gokey — Paula picks a song for Danny and he does a very good job!

Kris Allen — Randy and Kara pick a song for Kris and he sucks (go figure).

Adam Lambert — Simon chooses One by U2 and Adam takes the round 1 win!!! Not even a competition!

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Last week, I was right again. My record is now 15 for 21.

This week, they sang Rock songs and Slash was the mentor. They also did duets.

First duet; Danny and Kris. The song was perfectly suited for Danny; Kris, not so much as he screamed and tried to stay in tune (much like his regular performance)…

Second duet; Adam and Allison. Slow Ride!!! Night and Day, Head and shoulders above the Gokey-Allen bomb… this was rock!!!

Bottom Two

Kris Allen (as Simon said, “It was rather like eating ice for lunch. which is, it will leave you with nothing to remember afterward.” EXACTLY!!!)

Danny Gokey (as Simon said, “the last night was like watching a horror movie.” So Right!!!)

Who goes home?

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Last week, I was right and wrong again. My record is now 14 for 20.

This week, they sang songs from the Rat Pack Era.

Bottom Two

Kris Allen
Matt Giraud

Who goes home?

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Ahhhh!!! The Ghosts of NFL Draft PastWith a day left before the 2009 NFL Draft, Yahoo has gotten into the act:

“My six favorite draft busts and where they are now” by MJD

I was sad to see that Dave Brown didn’t make the list…

So a few years ago, Jishman started the Mt. Rushmore of Athletes…. this past year, ESPN borrowed the idea without any acknowledgment of the Jishman….

Well, now, I ask the ultimate sports question:

Which NFL draft day busts would be on your Anti-Mt. Rushmore of Athletes? Here are four names to start the debate:

1) Ryan Leaf
2) Akili Smith
3) Tony Mandarich
4) Steve Emtman

Who would be on your list?

I posted my last mock draft on March 1st. I have to apologize to Jishman and to our loyal readers who have been enteretained by our dueling Mocks (normally four to six per year). This year, I just couldn’t do it!

I have never been so unenthused about a draft class in my life. There are very few real stand outs, I have dubbed 2009 as the “parity draft.” This is a draft where you can get at 29 what you can get at 9, and that makes drawing up a mock draft boring. If you say Nicks can be drafted at 10, 15, 17, 22, 29, 35, or 47th… you would be correct. Except for a few players, there is nothing to be excited about this year! And even the exciting players don’t generate the buzz players have in the past.

The fact, in my sole opinion, that the top ten guys are going to walk away with contracts so far above their talent level is mindboggling. Now don’t get me wrong. I will watch the draft for a few reasons:

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Last week, I was right again. My record is now 13 for 18. Even though the judges saved Matt, I still get the credit for the right call. So, this week, two people are going home.

This week, they sang songs from the Disco era. And can anyone tell me why the judges love Kris Allen?! He’s just not that good… I would love to see him go home!

Bottom Four

Lil Rounds
Danny Gokey
Kris Allen
Matt Giraud

Who goes home?

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Last week, I was right again. My record is now 12 for 17.

This week, they sang songs from the Movies.

Bottom Three

Matt Giraud
Danny Gokey
Kris Allen

Who goes home?

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BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Dateline: RMTJ Headquarters on the Upper West Side of New York City

1.) In RMTJ nerd news, the creator of Dungeons & Dragons, known the world ’round as D&D, has passed at 61 years of age. Dave Arneson died after a two-year battle with cancer. Back in 1974, Mr. Arneson and Gary Gynex created a universe that captivated kids and previously closeted dorks and where they could live out there wildest “sci-fi fantasies”. While Merlin McHates-You, our D&D expert, played only Advanced D&D and not the original, he still owes many hours during high school to role playing games.

2.) And in television news, it appears that Studio 60 wasn’t his last foray into television. No, friends, Aaron Sorkin may be returning to the small screen. Apparently, his “program within a program style” will be attempting to satirize the Cable News Program world. Our television program expert, Nielson McHates-You, agrees with the article. Studio 60’s failures were that it: A.) Wasn’t funny, yet was a comedy show; B.) Had way too many storylines; C.) Never made me care about the main characters; and D.) just had way too many characters. West Wing made you care about the characters from minute one, and when the president walked in at the end of the episode, you teared up. You never did that with S60. It was a comedy show, not a space shuttle launch. Make me laugh and then go to credits. I don’t care that it was a drama and three years later, I attempt to forget it ever existed.

This has been RMTJ news! (BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP)

Last week, we got rid of Megan (no) Joy (ever when she was singing)!!! About time!!! My record is now 11 for 16.

This week, they sang a song from the year of their birth.

Bottom Four

Danny Gokey
Lil Rounds
Kris Allen
Scott MacIntrye

Who goes home?

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