Riddle Me This, Jishman

This is hilarious! Don’t piss off your eBay buyers….

http://amirtofangsazan.blogspot.com

If you were looking for something to get you ready for the start of Sorkin’s new show in the fall, well, here it is:

Six Minutes of Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip

Sushi etiquette guide from Noriko Takiguchi. Grr…now I want sushi.

I was just thinking about this on the drive home from work last night, why doesn’t Bacardi capitalize on May 31 being the 151st day of the year?

Since they have Bacardi 151 (and it is a well known brand) and Rum is the key ingredient in a lot of the summer mixed drinks, wouldn’t it make sense? A mock motto could be:

Say good-bye to the first 151 days of the year and get summer started with the Bacardi 151 Worldwide Block Party: 1 World 1 Party!

Given I had two minutes to come up with that, I know it sucks but I did incorporate their “1 world 1 party” theme from their website (Trump would be proud)!

It just seems logical that May 31 (or May 30th in leap years) always seems to be the unofficial start of summer, so why wouldn’t Bacardi products use the occasion to highlight their products with a tie-in of their Bacardi 151, the 151st day of the year, and the summer kick-off? Just seems logical to me… Thoughts?

CONTEST: who can come up with a really good motto for the idea above?

And welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends. It is time for this week’s dumbass of the week awards.

Last week I said there were times that celebrities made it too easy for me to pick on them, and this week, I think its possible I’ve found even bigger dumbasses to make fun of.

1.) Paris Hilton wants to make a f#@$%ing reggae and HIP-HOP album?!?!?!? The first single will be “a reggae song called “Stars Are Blind.”" Yeah, that’s right, Paris, but sadly, most of the us aren’t, and an even bigger portion aren’t deaf. GO AWAY! What producer thought this was a good idea?!?!?!

“Hilton said she wrote the lyrics to seven of her songs. The article didn’t say how many songs are on the album.”

My money says its a big fat goose egg. Here, however, is the winner:

“She said she had to overcome shyness to become a singer.”

Oh, sure, I can see that shyness by how you hide from cameras whenever you’re anywhere near a press line. WTF!! Next she’s going to say she always knew she could sing, but was too afraid to let it out.

“I have always had a voice and always known I could sing, but I was too shy to let it come out.”

Need I say more?

2.) STARBURY: Yes, I know, he’s a perenial here on the DotWs (along with Jim Dolan and Zeke), but this might possibly be the greatest quote ever. Quoth STARBURY:

“I want to be a Knick. I want to die a Knick. If I ever was to be cremated, I’d want my ashes sprinkled on top of the Garden.”

God, somebody please give me a bag to hurl into. I barely even know what to say right now. Those were your Dumbass of the Week awards. Tito, get me a tissue…

I was watching TV, and flipping through the channels over the weekend, and landed on Bravo, where they were counting down their “Top 100 funniest movie moments”.

Now I love nostalgia type lists and figured this would be right up my alley. I enjoyed the show, except I really have to question the people polled for this list. They must have asked college aged guys for the most part. The full list included such movies as Anchorman, School of Rock, and Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure… while these were funny movies in their own right, they should not be included in a top 100 style list.

Here is their top 10 (ok, 11, but I wanted to share #11):

1) Animal House
2) Caddyshack
3) Shrek - (a good movie,m but #3 ever?????)
4) There’s Something about Mary
5) South Park: Bigger, Longer Un-cut (they cannot be serious).
6) Airplane
7) Ace Ventura, Pet Detective (JimCarrey is funny, but not top 10 funny)
The Wedding Singer (not even Adam Sandler’s funniest movie)
9) Blazing Saddles
10) Arthur
11) Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (no f-ing way)

In comparison, here is my top 10:

1) Animal House (at least they got that one right - TOGA!!! TOGA!!!)
2) Blazing Saddles (Excuse me while I whip this out)
3) Airplane (Surely you can’t be serious. I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley)
4) Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail (Ni)
5) The Blues Brothers (Illinios Nazis? I hate Illinois Nazis!)
6) History of the World Part I (I bring you these 15… OY!!! 10 commandments)
7) There’s something about Mary (Franks and Beans!!!)
Fast Times at Ridgemont High (No Shirt, No Shoes, No Dice)
9) Office Space (and I could see the squirrels, and they were married).
10) Caddyshack (Doodie!!!)

*** Edited because I am an idiot and confused Jim and Drew Carrey. One is funny, the other is from Cleveland.

Today, the Hecht’s Department store in Friendship Heights was closed because a kid in a speeding car flipped over and landed in the store. After escaping his car, he tried to board a bus to get away from the scene.

I therefore nominate him for the weeks Dumbass of the Week award.

Gov. Ehrlich of Maryland announced today that the federal government has approved funds to building the ICC (Inter County Connector) that will link I-95 with I-270. This project has only been 50 years in the making and will cost $2.4 Billion. Here is my favorite quotation:

The 18-mile road, with an estimated cost of $2.4 billion, would be the most expensive new highway project in the Washington region.

Wait, did they really publish that line? OF COURSE its the most expensive new highway project in the region!!! It equals $133,000,000 per MILE!

That being said, I can’t wait for them to start so that it will make getting from my house to Baltimore (and then NJ) a lot easier.

My advice for myself, and everyone else, is not to hold your breath. I will believe they are actually going to build this road on the day the open the whole thing.

The other day, I went into a local Dunkin Donuts and as I was purchasing my Iced Coffee, they put out a fresh tray of sample size banana strawberry smoothies. Now, I must admit, I have never tried a smoothie in my life (that I am aware of) but the idea of trying a free, cool drink, for future reference in my summer consumption on a hot day notebook is always a good thing… so, this struck me as good as a time as ever to try one and see what all the buzz was about.

Strawberry/Banana, I thought? Hmmmm… it’s pink. I guess Strawberry trumps banana in the color department.

It was cold to the touch… this is always good in the summer… cold drinks, hot days… so far, so good!

So I drank down my mini-cup (maybe 3 or 4 ounces)…oops! Hold it in the mouth, wait to get outside to spit it out, oh, wait, counter person is watching me, give the fake smile-thumbs up maneuver and quickly proceed to walk outside to dispose of said liquid concoction. CHECK!!!

My final review: In my personal opinion, The strawberry-banana smoothie at Dunkin Donuts looks like and tastes like chilled Pepto Bismol. I don’t know if this is the flavor they were going for but I am done trying smoothies at D & D’s… even the free variety!

Input: Since Riddle Me This, jishman is a think tank that believes in a multitude of opinions, please feel free to share your opinions about D & D Smoothies. The more opinions we share, the better informed we are!

As you may have heard, Ricky Williams the Miami Dolphins running back who is suspended for the entire 2006 season for violations to the NFL substance abuse policy, has signed a contract with the Toronto Argonauts of the Canadian Football League.

I think this is a great idea for Ricky. The CFL does not have a drug policy and he can stay in playing shape and learn how to run routes and catch more balls in the pass happy league. However, I heard on TV this morning (ESPN I think) that the NFL can still test Ricky up to 10 times per month!!!! That’s a lot of drug testing.

Okay…we start with this guy… talk about sucking in your gut!

Would you buy furniture from this guy?!

Okay…we have all had bad days… but none of us have ever had one like this!

Of course, after working with this guy for all those years, maybe it wasn’t such a bad day!

Okay, this is so damn funny…but mean!

And finally, it they bring back Ally McBeal… this kid should audition for the part of the dancing baby!

What is up with NBC running Aaron Sorkin shows against NFL Football? Studio 60 has been moved…

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,” a series about TV producers trying to save a floundering late-night variety show, initially was slated to air opposite the CBS powerhouse “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,” television’s top-rated drama.

But when ABC announced last week that it would move its burgeoning hit, the medical drama “Grey’s Anatomy,” to the same hour, NBC executives saw the makings of a ratings tar pit for “Studio 60.”

Consequently, NBC, owned by General Electric Co., opted to move the Sorkin drama to Monday nights, where it presumably stands a better chance against lesser CBS hit “CSI: Miami” and the new ABC drama “What About Brian.”

First, West Wing sans Sorkin gets moved to Sunday night and now his new show with Sorkin is pittted against Monday Night Football on ESPN. A Monday Night Football that starts at 8:30pm instead of 9:00pm which will garner a lot more interest from fans.

SIDE NOTE: does anyone think CBS is moving “How I Met Your Mother” to 8pm on Mondays is in direct response to ESPN moving NFL Football to 8:30pm?

Okay, Jish, I no longer take the cake for having WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON MY HANDS

A friend of mine sent this to me a couple of days ago. I am halfway through page two of what appears to be a four page explanation of every character in LOST and their connection from mythology to the show.

(more…)

Well actually my work number, but I digress. We just got a call here at the book store asking for an L. Ron Hubbard title. We asked the customer if it was sci-fi or religion (since L. Ron Hubbard was a noted sci-fi author before he became freaky cult man) because they are kept on separate floors. He got very offended and said “it’s not science fiction, it’s real.”

Sorry Mr. Cruise, we don’t have that book in stock.

HOLY CRAP!!!…. picking up on a post started at fatmixx a few weeks ago…. the end of this season has been amazing!!! absolutely nutz (it gets a Z for it’s unorthodx style)!!!

How many saw the finale?! In case you didn’t, it was one of the best cliff hangers in a very, very, very, very, very (starting to sound like kirsch or a fifth grader right now) long time.

I saw it on TiVo right after the American Idol finale… and my wife and I were trying to figure out things while trying to fall asleep. Such a great episode!

And, the explanation of the button and the plane crash, how awesome were those explanations… I never saw those coming.

What did you think?!

UPDATE: I have a new theory on LOST and the whole story line. Out of respect for those who did not see the finale, I will wait a day or so before posting my theory.