Riddle Me This, Jishman

So much has been said about Alex Rodriguez being a narcissist. Guess what? he is. And if you had to guess who was right up there with him, Red Sox nation will argue but A-Rod’s brother in publicity crap is none other than Curt Schilling!

Gammons, rightfully so, called out A-Rod and Scott Boras for the timing of their announcement. Now, I hope he calls Schilling the narcissist that he is as well.

Really, Curt, on a day when Red Sox nation should be celebrating another successful season and a World Series victory, Curt Schilling is handing out Good-Bye Letters to his teammates.

BOSTON — Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling is keeping busy this offseason: He wrote goodbye letters to some of his teammates, rode in the parade celebrating the team’s second World Series title in four years, and filed for free agency on his first full day back in Boston.

Hey, Curt, they have these things called stamps and envelopes. Baseball is a team sport, your team just won the World Series and the Red Sox haven’t said they won’t talk about a contract with you…. so next time, mail the damn letters when the door is officially shut BUT of course, like over your entire career, Curt Schilling has been all about himself; bigger than the game, his team and apparently the fans as he made what is a feel good story for the City of Boston about his own personal plight…. The same way A-Rod tried to trump the Red Sox clinch of the World Series.

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This story comes to us courtesy of our roving reporter on the Monsey beat, Avi McHates-You. Our protagonist in this story is charged “with looting the company to bankroll a lavish lifestyle that included a $10 million bat mitzvah for his daughter.” Now since WHEN is this a problem?!

For those of you wondering, the answer is, “yes, you can make quinoa taste like pumpkins.”

Last Friday, I was thinking to myself that I really wanted to make flavored food for dinner that night. I knew I was making roast chicken, but I really wanted some flavor with it. Garlic green beans? Yeah, I made them, and they tasted good, but wasn’t enough. So, here’s what I did:

We started with 2 cans of chicken consommé, then, added 14 oz. of a pumpkin filling can (yes, for pumpkin pie, I used it for this. What? That’s not weird.) I wish I could say that this was all that I did. There was a lot of tasting involved. We added a pinch of salt and a pinch of pepper, and to sweeten it up, we added some cinnamon (a dash or so - and yes, there is a difference) and honey (about 4 oz of honey).

All in all, we just mixed and tasted until it seemed right. Once that was done, we poured it into a vessel, so we could clean the pot for the quinoa. Then, measured out 2 cups of this liquid (which, by the way would make a great soup) to pour back in to boil before adding the quinoa. Cook it as you ordinarily would.

The Bottom Line
Well, it was good, I liked it alot. My executive sous chef thought “it was good, but didn’t come out the way (she) expected. It didn’t absorb the pumpkin the way (she) would have wanted.” I have to agree. It was a little too thick and didn’t fluff the quinoa the way normal stock or water would. It was heavier and probably a bit more bloated than either of us would have wanted.

I’d say if I added veggie stock instead of chicken stock, maybe that would have lightened it up a bit. Maybe if I used more honey and pumpkin, who knows. I just know that it was good, and might not have been the worst thing I could have made for us (hint: I wanted to make garlic fingerling potatoes instead of green beans).

But I’ll tell you, for a dish that just was a thought in my head right before I went to bed, it could have come out MUCH worse.

I lost this week…on the last play…of overtime….on Monday Night…BY BRETT FAVRE! My undefeated season is gone (as predicted by me) as I lost to Waterboy. I loathe this game sometimes.

Oh well, at least I’m one game up on my next closest competitors in NERFL.

“Dear Brett,

“I love you man, don’t give up this game. But you beat me one more time, and all I’m saying is you’re going to find a horse head in your bed. No no, I still love you, but a horse head on the other side of the cheesehead sized bed you have in Green Bay.

“Sincerely, Jishman”

I was on the Hootie and the Blowfish website and saw a link to their Fantasy Football League…

As you can see, Darius Rucker’s team is 3-4…

and Jishman is at 7-0, soon to be 8-0 this week…

goes to show that Jishman is the man!!!!

So, get out there and have one of nature’s greatest “super foods”!

Slashfood

Well, it’s finally over!! A-Rod opts out of the contract. I hope the Yankees live by their words and don’t pursue A-Rod in free agency.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Alex Rodriguez is a good player, a great player when you look at his statistics but he is exactly what is wrong with the NY Yankees since 2001. Too many Big name free agents, not enough substance. The Yankees have gone away from home grown talent that was sprinkled with free agents who could contribute and have spent on players that aren’t worth mentioning here because they were overpaid and never produced in between the lines, especially when it counted in October.

The irony is that Mike Lowell, yes the MVP of the World Series for the Red Sox, was a Yankee farm hand who played 8 games for the Yankees in 1998. A career .280 hitter with a solid defensive glove who has won the World Series with the Marlins in 2003 against the Yankees and with the Red Sox in 2007, Lowell should have been the Yankees every day third baseman for the past decade. He wasn’t. Now A-Rod has a very serious possibility of becoming a Red Sox as Lowell’s contract expires and the Yankees will most likely chase some over-priced, aging, talent in the free agency market.

Joe Torre has been shown the door, A-Rod is gone and although we would have liked to seen him stay, I must admit, good riddance! (that is if the Yankees stick to their word… and as history has proven, The Steinbrenners aren’t very good at that either...)

Here’s hoping that Alex Rodriguez opting out is a step in the right direction… Now, hire Girardi and let he and Cashman run the team….. the best thing the Morons from Tampa could do from this point on is to stay out of it….

The US received the Statue of Liberty from the French.

In other news, this date also symbolizes the last time the US got anything good from the French.

Seriously, sometimes I read stories and it makes me hate my government more than I thought possible. They couldn’t get real reporters, so the staff sat in and asked questions. They called reporters 15 minutes ahead of time. You’re kidding, right? Please, tell me you’re kidding. What makes it worse is it’s not like FEMA has been getting much GOOD PR, so why should we give them the benefit of the doubt. Would someone in Congress please come up with a way to remove the entire senior staff from office and install 4 untrained monkeys!?!?! PLEASE! Someone get me Mike Brown!

Our thanks go out to our reporter not on the scene, Tami McHates-You, for this special weekend edition of Dumbass of the Week!

I could not agree more. I don’t know that I’ve ever enjoyed watching a player perform like Mattingly did during the 1980s. Unfortunately, his best days are behind him for the New York Yankees. He was the batting coach from 2004-2006, and a hitting instructor at Spring Training for 3 years before that. He was the bench coach for just this past year. As a bench coach, his responsibilities were largely to keep records, analyze data and from what I can tell having watched a few games this season, spit sunflower seeds from the 1st inning on.

Joe Girardi on the other hand, has actually managed a big league ball club in the last few years. He was the NL manager of the year in 2006. He’s a modern day version of Johnny Hustle. He was the Yankees bench coach and was Joe Torre’s guy in the clutch both as a player and a coach.

Girardi has the experience that Mattingly lacks. Mattingly is a George Steinbrenner kind of guy and definitely a Yankee. Girardi reminds me of Billy Martin, and who knows Billy better than George. He should be the guy. It’ll probably be Mattingly.

I have to thank my friend Christine for sending me this forward (don’t know the author, so I can’t credit it)

Why Men Are Not Allowed to Write Advice Columns

Walter’s Problem Page

Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt.

I walked back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes.

He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years.

When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn’t find his own underwear. But when I asked him about the make up, he broke down and admitted that he’d been wearing my clothes for six months.

I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless.

I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore.

Can you please help?

Sincerely,
Mrs. Sheila Usk

Click on the more Button for his response

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So, for all you draft nuts, I’m sorry to say there’s going to be less draft this year.

The NFL on Tuesday cut from 15 minutes to 10 the time between picks in the first round of its draft after a 2007 record round of 6 hours and 8 minutes.

It also moved the starting time of the draft from noon EDT to 3 p.m. and limited the first day to two rounds instead of three.

“We believe this will make for a more streamlined and efficient draft,” commissioner Roger Goodell said in a statement issued during the league owners meetings.

3pm!??! Does he not know that we have a Meat Fest to plan for that day? I’m sorry, but this is unacceptable. Someone get me Roger Goodell on the line!

This is extremely funny!!!

Atlanta (1-6)
NY Jets (1-6)
St. Louis (0-7)
Miami (0-7)

The NY Jets are 1-6 but if the season ended today, at best, the would only have the 3rd pick in the draft…. They can’t even win the first pick in the draft?!?! Can’t these guys win anything?!?!?!…..sorry, jishman, it’s a sad fact but true….the Jets are hapless…hahahahaha!

Adam Morrison is injured and out for the year. Don’t worry, he’ll be back and BADDER than ever next year.

Now, I know I shouldn’t be surprised that a dumbass son of General George Steinbrenner (a rising “DotW” hall member) would say something so off-the-wall-dumbass-stupid as:

“Let’s not forget what my dad did in giving him that opportunity — and the great team he was handed,” Steinbrenner told the paper.”

Um…right. This was the same “great” team that had 1 playoff appearance since 1980? Did he forget that this same “great team” went through 9 managers in 10 years, or was he too young during those days? Did he forget this was the same team that wouldn’t have had an All-Star except that ITS REQUIRED for many of those years?

Here’s another good one:

Hank Steinbrenner believed the Yankees’ offer was fair and that Torre needed to accept some of the blame for the team’s zero championships since 2000.

Torre, in his press conference, said that he took personal responsibility for each and every loss, but he also believed that ownership needed to take responsibility for the craptastic players they brought in too. Kevin Brown!?! Carl Pavano?!?! Jared Wright?!?! Shaun Chacone?!?! Jose Contreras!?!? Do I really need to keep going?

Dear Hank Steinbrenner,

SHUT UP!!!

Signed,
Jishman