Riddle Me This, Jishman

So, I was reading this article on the changing face of the music industry and realized how true it is. When I was a kid, I would listen for hours to records, cassettes and then as the technology changed, compact disks. I knew exactly where all the pops and cracks were in my records. I could tell you exactly when it was going to skip, and hearing it perfectly on the radio seemed “odd” to me for some reason. I would make taped recordings of songs off the radio for my (oh so stereotypical) teenage mix tapes and would listen to them until the sound track could no longer be heard.

Early recordings weren’t just for music, they were my “mechanism of transportation” to another era of stereo phonics. I sometimes would feel as if I was truly there and it was worth it, because even though I knew every single beat, music did for me what movies and television couldn’t. They enveloped me in new and different ways. I heard new things each time. I read the liner notes so many times, I memorized everything they said. It was glorious.

Now, we live in an era where pops and crackles are only when you open the package to your iPod or Zune. The music is as pristine as the air brushed faces of the pop tarts that put it out. If at least 50% of all new pop music isn’t backed with a techno beat, I’d be shocked. Moreover, the technology itself has created a world where we don’t hear all the music, only parts of it, so we don’t get the fullest understand of what we’re listening to. What’s worse is that kids who are listening to it don’t even know there’s a difference!

I will admit that I played an instrument as a kid, so I might be able to hear certain things that others can’t. However, between listening to “reduced” music AND hearing it on the craptastic iPod headsets, people are being given the “McNuggets” of music and not the genuine article.

A few weeks ago, Sujal posted on Fatmixx about getting new headphones. I commented that I had a set of Bose headphones, and love them, which I do (thank you, Laurie). However, there’s something more, I continue to hear new things each time I listen to songs. I hear the thunder and rain drops in the background of “Thunder Rolls” by Garth Brooks. I hear the Counting Crows trying to make their backup voices sound like guitar strums, but I’d never hear this unless I had burned the track in myself at the maximum bit rate and had a good set of headphones or speakers for my iPod.

So, here’s my advice:
Buy a good set of headphones or speakers. Burn your music in at maximum bit rate (even if it means taking up more valuable hard drive space than the porn you are inevitably downloading). Don’t be nostalgic, but buy original versions of CDs instead of remastered versions, so that you can hear what the real music sounds like and not the “Stepford Songs” we have now.

I have one thing to say:

Dear Roger Goodell,

I have no respect for the NFL when they hand a team a title. The ball was still moving in the Ravens game which should have been overturned and the Ravens should have won. The penalties called against the Eagles were a joke… a joke. BUT the Giants game was manufactured by the NFL… that means any person with half a brain or living outside of New England saw the game against the Giants.

The Patriots scored 21 points of their 38 on fake/phantom calls. FAKE CALLS!!! So Roger, Kudos… you gave the country a free game that gave the NFL records. FAKE Records…

So everyone in the country will talk about the asterisk. 16-0* just like 61*… the difference is that everyone respected Maris. No one outside of New Engalnd respects these Patriots. In fact they loathe them for the lack of class they have shown for the game, the rules, and well, history of the game. So yes, Roger, you got your perfect season but no one will ever respect Tom Brady as much as they do Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana, Peyton Manning, John Elway, Brett Favre and a slew of other great quarterbacks.

So Roger, keep giving the Patriots their empty wins by letting the refs call these games so poorly. Sooner or later, a player for another team will “correct” the issue.

Signed,
A Truly Disgusted NFL Fan

Crowned gets a second season!?!? Are you kidding me?! Please WGA and F#@$er producers make a deal for all that is holy in this world!!!

Happy Birthday Jishman.

Okay… now this is funny:

CLICK HERE BECAUSE IT WON’T EMBED

“That’s only in the morning. You supposed to be up cooking breakfast for somebody…so that’s like an alarm clock. Woo Woo!!”

So, this year’s Jets have largely been a disappointment. I think we can all agree with that. But, I will say this, I think that this year’s Jets have not been as bad as their 3-11 record represents nor were they as good last year’s 10-6 record. They are ineffective at running the ball. They are pathetic at passing the ball. They have had injuries at Wide Receiver, Quarterback, and Linebacker, but none of these has been as bad this one simple fact: the Jets lack talent on both sides of the ball. They aren’t that talented and when Herm Edwards left, he pretty much left the cupboard bare.

But before I continue, let me look at the positives:
1.) Thomas Jones needs 37 yards to be the first Jets rusher since Curtis Martin did it 4 years ago to rush for 1000 yards.
2.) Jerricho Cotchery looks more like a number 1 wide receiver than ever before and only in his 2nd year.
3.) David Harris looks like a beast in the middle of the defense averaging nearly a dozen tackles in every game he has started.
4.) Darelle Revis looks like the shutdown corner he was predicted to be holding his “assignments” to under 100 yards in each of the last 4 games he has started.
5.) Kerry Rhodes really looks like a Pro Bowler, even as he was robbed by the voters.

Now, as for the bad,
1.) The defense is just as bad as it was a year ago, if not worse. Harris may be a beast, but if there’s no help up front, then what’s the point?
2.) There is no pass rush from the front seven alone. Without bringing extra rushers, the Jets bring no pressure.
3.) Bryan Thomas and Shaun Ellis seem to have taken a step back. They are just terrible this year.
4.) D’Brickshaw Furgeson and Nick Mangold also seem to have regressed in their sophomore seasons.
5.) Running game? Passing game? Special Teams? Need I say more?

So, as I look at how bad this team was I think about their biggest needs. I’d list them this way:
1.) NT - to just take up space in the middle and protect those linebackers.
2.) OLB - a pass rusher like DeMarcus Ware, Lawrence Taylor, Roosevelt Colvin/Adalius Thomas/Mike Vrabel, or Jason Taylor. If the Jets can’t get pressure from the front 3+1, then they are going to have a lot of trouble covering people.
3.) CB - opposite Revis, they need help. When David Barrett and Hank Poteat are your guys, you need help.
4.) OL - The Jets need to replace Pete Kendall badly to help solidify the left side of the line and they need a right tackle to replace Anthony Clement, because he is just a liability and they do not have anyone better. That is just sad.

So, looking at that, I have heard/read things - completely unverified - and so I repeat them and comment (and I’ll start with letters because number bullets are boring):
A.) Trade Coles & Pennington to Kansas City to follow Edwards for a 1st rounder and 4th or 5th rounder: I like this trade. It makes sense. Combined, Coles and Pennington’s cap values combine to make about $10 million. I don’t care that they are the best play makers. Pennington is a backup for the Jets and his cap value is about $6 million, and the team wants to see what Clemmens brings them. Both are team captains but neither is capable of carrying the team on their backs. Coles is the most likely, but he’s also the one they can get the most value for too. If I could get KC’s 1st (which would be in the top 10) and 4th or 5th, I’d do it.

B.) Drop Ben Graham, Anthony Clement, Eric Barton, Victor Hobson, Chris Baker and Justin McCarreins - well, okay, I’m on board with getting rid of all these guys, plus Barrett, Sione Pouha, and David Bowens too. I just don’t understand what it will get you without bodies to replace them with. Barton, Hobson and Baker are starters with no viable backups to replace them. Hobson or Barton could possibly be replaced by Vilma if, when he comes back, he’s still an able/worthwhile play at LB. Baker isn’t the answer, but the answer isn’t really on the roster yet either. McCarreins? Well, he was just a waste. Don’t ask me why we traded for him.

C.) Draft Darren McFadden, RB, Arkansas - Okay, I am on the fence about this one. The Jets have more needs than RB and Darren McFadden doesn’t provide anything that the Jets don’t already have $6 million invested in with Thomas Jones and Leon Washington. Yes, he’s better, I get it. A LOT better, I get it, but he’s still not going to be able to do anything without an offensive line to run behind or without a defense to get him the ball to play with. He might be the best back of this generation, but without a team around him, he won’t even get close.

D.) Draft Chris Long, DE, Virginia - Sure, he’s good. I get that. He’s Howie Long’s kid, I get that too. Here’s the thing, they still won’t have a nose tackle to help them so offenses will be running all over them, and Shaun Ellis was good with someone opposite him. He’s not worth it either with the number 3 pick.

E.) Draft Jake Long, OT, Michigan - Oh, sure, he’s good. But, if St. Louis drafts ahead of them, trust me, he won’t be there. If he is there and they have KC’s draft choice, then what’s the point. This might be the strongest draft for offensive linemen since the Giants drafted William Roberts and Jumbo Elliot in two consecutive rounds twenty years earlier.

F.) Trade the pick - Okay, but to whom? - The prevailing logic that the RMTJ draft “experts” and I have come up with is that they should trade the pick to a team that has two picks in the first round. There is only one team for whom that is true: the Dallas Cowboys. They are a team with truly few holes and one of the few holes they have is at running back. Marion Barber III might be great someday, and then again, he might not. Julius Jones, however, is a free agent, and since they don’t truly NEED anything else that they can’t get otherwise, why not take the risk and get someone who could be one of the best backs of his generation?

The Jets have a massive rebuilding project ahead of them, but without picks, they are going to need many years to make it happen. Even with picks they’re going to need years, but with 2, maybe 3 first round picks, the Jets could shorten that time a bit, especially considering the success they’ve had with their last few drafts. David Harris, Darelle Revis, Kerry Rhodes, Cotchery, Furgeson, Mangold, Washington and quite a few guys have all stuck around and made a nice little base group. Now they need more difference makers.

Today, my wife and I planned a day long adventure for Melly. The first part of the plan called for me to drive to Needham to pick up Melly, meet Stephanie for lunch and then go enjoy the rest of our day. I was running late this morning, called Melly to let her know I was running late, jnumped in my car and drove to Needham.

I got off the highway about 12:45pm, turned onto South Street and about five to ten minutes later, my car started to decelerate. The engine stopped working. I hit my hazard lights button and coasted safely to a stop on the side of the road. The car was not in a safe place. i was on a very narrow road about fifty feet from a sharp curve that people drive very fast around. So I got out of my car and walked in the snow about fifty feet up the road to be safe. If someone took the corner too fast and didn’t stop in time, I didn’t want to be in the car when they hit it.

At 1:00pm, I called AAA and gave them the details about where to find me. I was on South Street and about 100 feet up the road was a sign for BURR DR. The woman on the other end of the phone heard the cars whizzing by at an incredible rate of velocity and asked if the car was in a safe location. I told her that I was not in the car because it wasn’t in the safest location and I couldn’t move it. The engine won’t start, so to be safe; I was standing on the side of the road, in the snow, about 50 feet from the car. The woman at AAA said she would make my case a “priority call.” She said that most tows were taking about 90 minutes today but because of the inherent safety risks, she would try and have that time increased and she would attempt to have someone come sooner.

I called my wife and told her that she needed to come get Melly and that our outing with melly would probably become an adventure of just the two of them. Stephanie was on her way to get Melly. I called Melly and told her what happened and that Mommy was on the way. She was very understanding. Then I just had time to wait.

(more…)

Congratulations Boston, you now can have Tivo and Comcast all in one box!

So, I have to tell you, I like the concept. Tivo, inherently, is a software company. Because of the cable companies’ slow acceptance of the CABLECard system, Tivo needs to continue to show off its excellence in software functionality by being THE software provider to the DVR providers. Don’t get me wrong, they need to continue selling their boxes too, but to assure their future, they need to bring their software to cable boxes.

In response to our award winning post on coaches who hate me, New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick wrote in to RMTJ central to tell us his “super, double-secret probation plans” for this week’s New England game versus Miami:

“Jishman,

First of all, I wanted to say I’m a fan of your writings. Its always good to see good writing in this day and age. Especially since you’re a Jets fan.

Second of all, this week while we have injuries, as all teams do, we’re going with a new strategy. After Doug Flutie’s drop kick for a field goal two years ago, we’d been looking for a new way to screw the opponent, and after this year’s ‘Spy-gate’ bulls#@$ blew up in our face, we needed a new way. So, I am here to announce, first on your award winning site, that we are going to use Wes Welker as a Wide Receiver AND as our second punter for the week. We’ve decided that Chris Hanson has had too much work in the last few weeks, so we’re going to use Welker as a punt and kick returner and as the punter too.

That’ll teach those bastards in Miami to let him go. Thanks for letting me to join in your action.

Hugs,
BB”

Well, thanks, Bill. I don’t even know what to say.

I have a friend who says, “Technology is a good thing.” He says this all the time. On most days I would agree with him. TODAY IS NOT ONE OF THOSE DAYS….

You see, I have been playing around on ELFYOURSELF.COM and trust me when I say, I don’t think my family will be happy about it….

First, I ELFED Josh and Chloe (click here to see it)

Then I ELFED my brother-in-law, Tony. His Wife, Wendy. My Mother-in-law, Kathy and my wife Stephanie. (Click here to see it)

Finally, because turnabout is fair play, I ELFED myself twice with the Easter Bunny and my wife!!! (click here to see that)

(NOTE: This doesn’t work on all computers, sorry if it doesn’t work on yours… so damn funny!!!!)

Anyway, Like I said, “Technology is a good thing!” Just not today!!!!

Back by popular demand (yes, all 3 of you who still read this blog), the “dedicated” Dumbass of the Week awards! This week, because frankly who else would I choose, is dedicated to the entire Spears clan. (insert theme music)

Number 1, Jaime Lynn Spears is all of 16 and “has a bun in the oven”. Now, the question is will she lose her career at squeaky clean Nick?

Number 2, Britney was informed of this by the paparazzi and upon being informed, responded with a quite serious: “C’mon y’all, my sister isn’t pregnant.”

Number 3, Lynn Spears was working on a parenting book. Now, let me just say at the outset, this is an admirable thing. I am in favor of people writing books (provided they’ve actually read other ones in the past), but in light of recent events, apparently, the publisher thinks it might be prudent to pull it from the shelves indefinitely. Shocking, I know.

Brammie McHates-You reports in from the Poison control center at McHates-You HQ:

I am proud to be writing the forward of this book. “This is a very excellent book and I recommend you do the opposite.”

In other news, we also have reports from our reporters in the field of smurfs popping up nationwide. Be on the lookout.

Otherwise, I hope everyone has a smurftastic week!

Waterboy, are you a Cylon?

There is no coach who is less interested in talking to the press than Bill Belichick. Now, don’t get me wrong. He’s not belligerent or overtly acrimonious to the press. But he has reached new levels of apathy and boredom. “It was a good win. Always good to win inside the division and sweep the Jets. Now we’re looking forward to Miami next week.” and that was his answer to EVERY QUESTION!

Reporter: “How did you feel about the victory?”

“It was a good win. Always good to win inside the division and sweep the Jets. Now we’re looking forward to Miami next week.”

Reporter 2: “But was this victory extra special?”

“It was a good win. Always good to win inside the division and sweep the Jets. Now we’re looking forward to Miami next week.”

Reporter 3: “Doesn’t it feel better to beat Eric Mangini and the Jets, the team you spurned?

“It was a good win. Always good to win inside the division and sweep the Jets. Now we’re looking forward to Miami next week.”

I loved that even his TONE didn’t change when he responded. Like he was a robot!

I continue to be astounded.

Miami actually won a game!