Riddle Me This, Jishman

Okay, so Friday might (or might not) be the first Presidential debate of this election season. Mrs. Jishman and I will be hosting my in-laws and my sister, aka Jish-sis, and though we don’t talk about politics here on the blog, we we definitely tak about food here. We want to make an all-American meal, so I’m calling out to faithful readers. Personally, my favorite dish of all time is a good Apple desert. Apple Pie, Apple Crisp, Apple Turnover, Poached Apples, it just doesn’t matter.

What are your favorite American dishes?

As you know, fantasy sports is taking over the nation. Fantasy Football is by far one of the most popular sports, but a little known fantasy extravuganza is taking over the world. That’s right folks, if last night proved anything, its that fantasy dancing for Dancing with the Stars is taking over the universe. You will never see the world in the same way again, once you’ve played this bad boy! And this comes to us from our fantasy dancing expert, Happy Feet. That’s right, folks, for all the mocking dished out for fantasy football, when it comes to fantasy dancing, there is an obsession brewing in this country. Its a groundswell.

Boy, thank god they spent all that money on defense, so they could give up 44 F#@$@##@$ING points and have two of those guys sit out most of the second half. I need to keep reminding myself that this is largely the same team that went 4-12 last year. I hate sports sometimes.

So, many of you know about the steak bets, well, here’s another one for you:

Waterboy: US Wins the Ryder Cup
Jishman: Europe Wins

Right now, at 11:50, the US is winning 3 matches and all square in one. I know it will hurt my chance for a steak, but…U-S-A! U-S-A!

That’s right folks, September 19th every year, International Talk Like a Pirate Day! So, all together now, let’s join Scurvy McHates-You: “Arrr, baby!”

As everyone knows, I mock my given name as much as anyone, but Niner McSues-You, our roving legal reporter out of our Detroit offices, gives us the newest in ways to waste time on the “Interwebz”: The Sarah Palin Name Generator. That’s right, folks, Sarah Palin has picked out an All-American set of names for her children. There’s Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper. Had Jishman been born to Sarah Palin, he would have been called:

Commando Coalfire Palin

Who knows, Commando Coalfire Palin you just might be president one day!

Feel free to take a spin on this one for hours and tell us what you come up with.

This comes from our “efficiency expert,” Avi McHates-You (who clearly was using his time to the best of his ability)…

She was in a commercial (or epic miniseries, depending on who you ask) for Windows with Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld. How cool is that?!

Over the last few months, Lehman Brothers has been taking a pounding. Their stock is down to $3.52 from…well….much higher before. People have even taken to the streets in protest now. Coffeemen throughout the city are up in arms. Take a look. (more…)

Last night, Mrs. Jishman, Mrs. Jishman’s brother and I had one my favorite meals: Marinaded Meat and stir fry. No, that isn’t really the title, but its pretty similar every time. I marinade meat in a combination of spices, oils and sauces, then cook it in a pan. I love it. Now, if you’ve ever eaten food with me, you’d know my favorite foods of all time are Asian foods. Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Vietnamese, I just love them all. It started out much like a teriyaki would (if you make your own). Now, given that we keep kosher, its not really authentic, but who cares? It tasted good (or so I think).

First, the ingredients: (more…)

Now we have, Bedpost.com. Yup, that’s right, this one answers the question:

Ever wonder how often you get busy?

I like a website that gives us “some insight into your sex life.” Because this was something the world needed to know.

Tech Security expert, Avi McHates-You, over IM, commented flabbergastedly: “It’s amazing to me that people think any of their private info online is still private.”

This just in, folks, if you have info on the net, its not private. Just ask all those freshman at college who have facebook pages, or the superheroes with the world’s worst secret disguises ever.

This one comes to us from our “Dear Niner” reporter, Niner McHates-You.

Sidetaker.com: “Let the World Decide Who’s At Fault”

Yup, that’s right. That’s what it says. Let. The. World. Decide. Nothing good has ever ended well when the world decides. Let’s look at some examples:

American Idol,
The UN,
Big Brother,
The International Space Station,
VHS over Betamax,
Jason Todd dying,
America’s Got Talent,
Not giving the “Hoff” another chance at Knight Rider,
Euro-Disney,
Microsoft Gurus,
Communism,
Pepsi Generation,
Eurovision Song Contest,
Windows Vista,
& of course the French Revolution

“Dear Niner” will soon become a regular spot on RMTJ assuming people are interested. Write in and let her know the item you need advice on. Personally, my issue is how long is too long to wait to write thank you cards from your wedding?

I just wanted to take a moment and make a few quick observations about the first week of September:

1) (And this has more to do with August) This past Sunday, I celebrated twelve years of marriage with my beautiful wife. She is more amazing, wonderful and gorgeous today then she was when she kissed me for the first time under that apple tree sixteen years ago. Here’s to at least twenty-four more!

2) My commute to work has doubled in time because the “part-timers/seasonals/I only work when my kids go to school” people are back on the roads. For the past two months, my commute has been 10 to 15 minutes, and this week it has been an average of 35 minutes. I only go 4.5 miles….

3) Is anyone really going to take Chad Ocho Cinco seriously?!?! It was humorous, yet ridiculous, when I heard he had his name legally changed. I thought it was a publicity stunt… but the NFL and the Bengals are changing all of their literature and his jersey to read “Chad Ocho Cinco!” How stupid can this thing get?!

4) Speaking of football, a bright spot, the NFL starts this weekend!!!!

5) Even better, Fantasy football starts this weekend: NERFL and the Mavericks of Mayhem … woo hoo!

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Once again, I have to give my parents credit for sending this to me… very funny… as I only watched about 15 minutes of the Olympics this year, I have no clue whether these are actual quotes or not but either way (so take it with a grain of salt as it is from an email forward)…. very humorous:

Here are the top nine comments made by sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: “This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.”

2. Dressage commentator: “This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.”

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.”

4. Boxing Analyst: “Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.”

5. Softball announcer: “If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.”

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I have to give credit to my parents for sending this to me. Very Funny:

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, ‘Name seven advantages of Mother’s Milk,’ worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.

He wrote:

1.) It is perfect formula for the child.

2.) It provides immunity against several diseases.

3.) It is always the right temperature.

4.) It is inexpensive.

5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.

6.) It is always available as needed.

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