1.) The Overalls with no shirt underneath and sometimes only with one button done. Classic early 90s.
2.) The color coordinated players, like they were action figures. Indicative of boy bands during the early days of mass market boy bands. For example: Color Me Badd, New Edition, Boyz II Men, New Kids on the Block and of course, the Monkees.
3.) Talking into the camera - Now clearly this did not happen before Bobby Brown first did it during his “My Prerogative” years, but now its as common as summer hits and me mocking Terrell Owens or members of the Knicks. Another key component of this video are the “characters” speaking to each other give us insight into their mindsets. For example:
Character 1: Yo Ro u might sound to sure so wutcha gonna do?
Character 2: I dunno Da, I only got one more rap and I’m gonna see what happens
Yes, when you add that to his friends standing behind him taunting him as he instructs the girl that she was the only one who could “peep” the letter he gave her, well, its pure music magic. I think even C&C Music Factory’s Here We Go with its pop culture references (BB King, Bo Diddly, Beatles, Jackson 5, Ed Sullivan) can’t compete with the efforts of these five Beethoven’s.
That’s right, folks. After so many years of coming in first during the regular season only to lose in the first round, I am the new, proud champion of the New England Rotisserie Football League (aka NERFL). That’s right, folks, my new team name brought me victory where the old name failed to live up to its billing. I remember when I was picking this team name, and well, I couldn’t come up with a more appropriate one. Marty’s Schottenheimers clearly made sense. He never won. I’d never won. The Scurvy Pirates did not do their job.
Now, I’m not conceited enough to think I’m so talented that the name did not have something to do with it, so I’m going to let you, our loyal readers, decide which name I should choose for next year:
My Parents sent this email forward to me… This one is funny, click the more button and it will all make sense… :
I’m sure that you have seen pharmaceutical advertising in doctor’s offices on everything from tissues to exam table cover paper. Well, in my book, this one should get the prize!
With all apologies to Clement Mark Moore, I must do this for all of my friends (who are fans of teams other than the Yankees) that have been calling me constantly to complain over the past two days.
Yes, Yankee Fans, there is a Steinbrenner Claus!!!
‘Twas the night before the New Year, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even A-Rod’s mouth;
The 2009 standings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Brian Cashman soon would be there;
Sabathia, Burnett and Teixeira were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of dollar signs and world series rings danced in their heads;
And Hank in his sweater vest, and Hal in his “NY” cap,
Had just returned from the Winter Meetings and needed a nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
They sprang from the boardroom to see what was the matter.
A crumbling economy, more than 2 million constituents who have lost their jobs this year, and congressional demands of CEOs to work for free did not convince lawmakers to freeze their own pay.
Instead, they will get a $4,700 pay increase, amounting to an additional $2.5 million that taxpayers will spend on congressional salaries, and watchdog groups are not happy about it.
“As lawmakers make a big show of forcing auto executives to accept just $1 a year in salary, they are quietly raiding the vault for their own personal gain,” said Daniel O’Connell, chairman of The Senior Citizens League (TSCL), a non-partisan group. “This money would be much better spent helping the millions of seniors who are living below the poverty line and struggling to keep their heat on this winter.”
and here is the kicker…
Rep. Harry Mitchell, a first-term Democrat from Arizona, sponsored legislation earlier this year that would have prevented the automatic pay adjustments from kicking in for members next year. But the bill, which attracted 34 cosponsors, failed to make it out of committee.
“They don’t even go through the front door. They have it set up so that it’s wired so that you actually have to undo the pay raise rather than vote for a pay raise,” Ellis said.
Kudos to Rep. Mitchell (D-Arizona) and the 34 cosponsors of this bill!!! Apparently they understand what leadership is… unfortunately, the bill never made it out of committee.
1.) Marijuana (Shaun Ellis)
2.) Guns (Plaxico Burress)
3.) Idiocy (too many to mention)
4.) Benjamins (CC Sabathia and Burnett - who by the way, make more in 2 innings of pitching than I do in an entire year)
I know my next job, and it comes with a title: “the member of XXX’s posse who holds and can sign checks for the stores he forgets to pay for crap in”. I mean, sure, its long, but worth it, I think. Plus, I might even get invited to Jay-Z’s parties once in a while, and we know how much I like his music.
Loli Claus brought us a gift this morning. You see, apparently, people don’t know to eat only their own food and not others where he works:
To the miserable S.O.B. who evidently ate my roast beef sandwich which I placed in the refrigerator this morning, I hope you gag on the rancid meat I used, which was 8 days old and was starting to look like colors of the rainbow when I made it last night.
I had a debate with a friend over the weekend who claimed that Mark McGuire should not be voted into the baseball Hall of Fame because “he cheated.” Now, the accusation should be “allegedly cheated” because no one has been able to prove whether or not McGuire cheated or lied to Congress for that matter. His testimony before Congress was deplorable but after seeing the lengths Congress has gone to in order to go after Clemons, McGuire was probably smart for being cryptic and evasive in his testimony.
With that said, I turned to my friend and said that by his logic, Bill Belicheck should never be voted into the Football Hall of Fame because he admittedly cheated.
My friend said it wasn’t the same thing. One allegedly used steroids and the other videotaped games that he claimed, “had no bearing on games.” If they had no bearing on games, why did he do it for eight years?! Because it helped. That is the only reason for doing something for eight years.
So the Riddle Me This Jishman debate is this: Should Bill Belicheck be voted into the Football Hall of Fame after he retires? (Why? Why not?… and yes, you can weigh in on McGuire if you would like to)
The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.
Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said: “Debra, I’ve never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off.”
“Could you jack off?” she says. “I feel like s**t.”
Now, I’ve been told that no one enjoys ginger as much as I do, and while that might be not be entirely true, I do love fresh ginger. I find it warming, fresh, and with just enough - non-chile pepper - bite without pain to keep you coming back for more. For me, ginger also represents my favorite kind of cooking = Asian. And in Asian cuisines (depending on the culture), certain flavors are present: Soy Sauce (saltiness), Peppers (heat), Garlic, and Sesame (aroma). Sesame, in particular, screams Asian cuisine for me. This marinade fits into all those categories.
Sesame-Ginger Marinade
1/2 cup Soy Sauce
3 TBS sesame oil
2 inches fresh ginger
pinch of garlic powder (or 1 TBS of fresh)
Lime Juice (2-3 TBS)
Pepper
canola oil (I pour about 3 “glugs” of oil to thin it out a bit) - don’t use olive. It comes out foul. Trust us.
Red Pepper Flakes to taste, optional
Toasted sesame seeds (1 tbs or so)
This is the most common one I use. Its fragrant, the flavors work well together, and depending on what you’re making (beef, especially), the lime juice provides a tenderizing and citrus component that I like a lot (and lime juice is also very common in Chinese and Korean food). You can use bottled or fresh depending on your location, even though fresh limes are available all year round these days. Now, in the US, however, limes are in season (key limes are fine too) so feel free to get them, otherwise, use the bottled stuff. I like the bottled stuff just as well.
Options:
1.) Instead of using red pepper flake, use Chile sauce. It will provide a bit more of a vinegary taste, but be much spicier too. Some people like that.
2.) Want it sweeter? No big deal. Add in honey (2-3 TBS) or Mirin/Rice Wine (1/4 cup) and Rice Wine Vinegar (2-3 TBS). Or both…
3.) How about more savory? Add in chopped scallions or onion powder while you’re marinading the meat.
Personally, I do all three. Mrs. Jishman and I enjoy a 1 lb. London Broil (which, coincidentally the English have NEVER heard of), marinaded, then cooked on stove top, and served either over salad or sauteed vegetables. Mmmm….Enjoy!
One of my Aunts sent this to me this morning. I don’t know if this was in the marriage contract but if it was in the fine print, which none of us guys ever read, then we are in for a fun time in a few years.
I have to thank my Aunt for sending this… very funny!
That’s right, folks, we are taking our Dumbass of the Week polls to the next level! We are taking it to Dumbass of the Year. This year’s Dumbass of the Year will join TO and Paris Hilton in the DotW Hall of Fame! Let’s look at our first competitor:
1.) Plaxico Burress - It takes a rare amount of talent to be able to be both the Plaintiff and the Defendant in an assault case! Burress, in his best pair of dress sweat pants, goes out to a club in the rough and tumble million dollar neighborhood at 40th and Lexington Avenue in New York City (bada$$es like Michael Bloomberg and Derek Jeter live nearby) with his illegal, unlicensed gun in his pocket. In all the commotion, between the courvoisier and the old school rap, like Run DMC and Kid Rock, Burress manages to shoot himself in the leg. Presently, he is suspended by the Giants and pending a trial, while “Mizzichael Blizzomberg” (his street name) calls for his jailing. That’s cizz-old, MB.
2.) Starbury - Stephon Marbury, as he’s known to all of his haters, was given the option to play in games while the Knicks (aka playah-hatahs!) were awaiting their soon-to-be joining the team players, yet sadly, Starbury decided to take a pass. Not once, no, because that would be just drinking some “Haterade” - no, this team player decided to pass twice - which by the way is two more times than he passed in his whole career in the NBA! Then, as if that wasn’t enough - when he felt threatened, because asking him to to play, which is what he is paid for, was clearly egregious. No, Senior Starbury-o, decided to comment to the press:
“They left me for dead,” Marbury told the New York Post. “It’s like we’re in a foxhole and I’m facing the other way. If I got shot in the head, at least you want to get shot by the enemy. I got shot in the head by my own guys in my foxhole. And they didn’t even give me an honorable death.”
I love athletes.
3.) Dick Fuld - Yup, Lehman employees, line up for your hero and mine. He runs the company into a ditch. Passes on Congress’s first request to come speak with them, possibly gets the sh#$ kicked out of him in the Lehman gym, oh, and causes the collective known as “Men in the Can” (the guys on the street who serve food and drinks) to unionize behind Lehman employees. This man has talent. Oh, and did I mention he was magnanimous enough to pass on his bonus this year? Snarky McHates-You wrote in while I was putting this together and wanted me to say: “THE COMPANY DOESN’T EXIST ANYMORE, DUDE! WHERE WAS THAT MONEY GOING TO COME FROM!?!??!” Thanks, Snarky. Couldn’t agree more.
