I have to thank my Aunt Marie for sending this to me…. this is funny; I hope you enjoy!
Why I Had to Fire my Secretary
Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday!’, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ‘Happy Birthday.’
I thought… Well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids… They will remember! My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn’t say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
Though technically, according to the Jewish calendar it happened a few weeks ago, it was on May 14, 1948 that Israel declared its independence on the same day the British left the region.
I was in Israel a few years ago and posted about it over at Fatmixx. It was such a great trip that I’m genuinely bitter I haven’t been back in over four years. Where has the time gone?
No one in my family is Israeli, but like many people, I feel a sense of pride when I see the Israeli flag. Sure, before you say it, everyone makes mistakes. But I don’t think of those when I see the flag and certainly not when I’m in the country.
So, here it is.
And if you get the chance, go to Israel. You’ll enjoy it.
Last week, I was wrong. In reality, America is tone deaf because Kris sucked last week and Allison is and always will be better than Kris. My record is now 15 for 22.
This week, Judges choice and contestants choice:
Round 1: Judges choice
Danny Gokey — Paula picks a song for Danny and he does a very good job!
Kris Allen — Randy and Kara pick a song for Kris and he sucks (go figure).
Adam Lambert — Simon chooses One by U2 and Adam takes the round 1 win!!! Not even a competition!
And so…just as his last season ends, this year’s bid for the return of Brett Favre ends with a whimper. Yes, my friends, Brett has decided to stay retired (much as he should have before) and ride off into the Mississippi sunset…for now.
I have no doubt Brett Favre will look to return again when the bug hits him around August time, but I’m sorry to say, Mr. Legend, it is time. You are talented, no doubt. You have more records than pretty much any QB or even player in history. But it is time and no amount of reporting by Rachel Nichols can change that. The Minnesota Vikings will simply have to get by with the prowess and genius that is Tavaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels.
Vikings fans, get ready, it’s going to be a bumpy ride….you also should consider what offers you can make to get Sam Bradford. Oh, and Eric, it’s time to retire the Favre Jersey.
That’s right folks, our movie expert, Avi McHates-You, brings us this trailer. From the Creator of Beavis and Butthead and Office Space…and, sadly, Idiocracy…we get this gem:
Ben Affleck and Michael Bluth…I mean, Jason Bateman. I love it. When do we leave?
This week, they sang Rock songs and Slash was the mentor. They also did duets.
First duet; Danny and Kris. The song was perfectly suited for Danny; Kris, not so much as he screamed and tried to stay in tune (much like his regular performance)…
Second duet; Adam and Allison. Slow Ride!!! Night and Day, Head and shoulders above the Gokey-Allen bomb… this was rock!!!
Bottom Two
Kris Allen (as Simon said, “It was rather like eating ice for lunch. which is, it will leave you with nothing to remember afterward.” EXACTLY!!!)
Danny Gokey (as Simon said, “the last night was like watching a horror movie.” So Right!!!)
